Ode to Ricki (RhA)

Ode to Ricki (RhA)

Eulogy "Poem" by Sidi Naajee

My mom and dad were puzzled

"Our son is smitten, bedazzled?"

What was in Ricki? What did he see?

The American face? The green sea?

Katb l'ktaab* in masjid lessened their shock.

But, no Algerian wedding hit them like a rock!

Five years went by and three children later,

Made the family seven strong and greater.

Jeddi^ and Nenna^ came to visit the bride,

That their son picked with love and pride.

A beauty, she more than was, they realized

Her hospitality 'n kindness left them dazzled

A true mother she was and a gentle classy dame

A noble lady who never whines or lays a blame!

They left after a month to Algeria, at ease

Knowing that their son's life is sea breeze 

In the company of Ricki 'n under her wing

Taoufik is going to be, in his house, a king!

To the siblings back home, the mom praised

Her son's wife and the children they raised.

Al HamdouliLlah**, they at last genuinely exclaimed

The immigrant son has a homeland to be claimed.

Thank you Ricki for helping this man settle 'n thrive 

And find a life partner in you, in your sweetest hive! 

Your leaving early to meet Allah, the One 'n Only God

Left voids in hearts, in spaces, in times here 'n abroad!

Rest In Peace, queen of hearts and sweetest mother of eight

Your memories shall live 'n our love for you is infinitely great!

Uhibbuki ya Ummal Baneen wal Banaat! RhA

Notes:

*Katb l'ktaab is engagement, the Islamic way

^Jeddi and Nenna are Arabic words for grandpa and grandma 

**Al HamdouliLlah is praise be to Allah in Arabic 

الحب عجيبة من عجائب الدًَّيَّان

 الحب عجيبة من عجائب الدًَّيَّان

قصيدة لسيدي ناجي

لا تسألوني لما أحببتها لأن ...

الحب عجيبة من عجائب الدًَّيَّان

فهي ليست و لم تكن ملكة جمالِ الكوْنِ 

و ليست جُلُّ أخلاقها أنْوارٌ برَّاقة اللونِ

لكن جمالَها بسيطٌ عميقٌ جِذْرِيٌّ برِّيٌّ

و أرقَى أخلاقِها عفويٌّ جوهرِيٌّ بحريٌّ

أمومتها حُبٌّ و عطفٌ لا يعرف حُدُودْ

فَهِي أمومةٌ تضمُّ جُلَّ خلائق المعبودْ

عزتُها عريقةٌ أصلِيَّةٌ و فولاذية المنبعْ

و هي للحقِّ قوَّالةٌ لمن شاء أن يسمعْ

ذكاؤُها خراقٌّ و هي بالأفكار دومًا تجودْ

تحُلُّ المشاكلَ بسهولةٍ و بِعزْمٍ و صُمُودْ

حبُّوبَةٌ محبوبةٌ و للناس كانت قدوةً و مِثالْ

تعلمْتُ منها الصبر و الحلم و حسن الأقوالْ

ذاك جوابي إذا سألتموني عن ريكي زوجي

صاحبتي لأربعٍ و ثلاثين حولًا و أُمُّ النَّواجي   

الحب عجيبة من عجائب الدًَّيَّانْ

الحب حقًّا عجيبة من عجائب الدًَّيَّانْ

الصبر و الحمد لله على كل ما صار و كانْ!

How do Muslims Honor their Deceased Love Ones?

In the Name of Allah, The Beneficent, The Merciful

The most important acts one can do to truly keep honoring one's relatives who left them to the unseen world are the following acts.

• Continuous du'as (supplications) of forgiveness by Allah (SWT) and admittance to Jenna (Garden of Eden) for their loved ones.
• Frequent salat and FatiHa reading on behalf of the loved one.
• Acts of perpetual unending charities (such as planting trees, assisting in building masjids and schools, etc.) are amongst the noblest of acts a surviving relative ought to do on their beloveds' behalf.
• Spreading knowledge the loved ones had imparted so that they benefit from their eternal reward.
• Continually honoring the friends and relatives of one's beloveds is yet another means of honoring them.
• Continuing to support the good causes the loved ones were passionate about would be beneficial too.
• Performing Hajj or completing their unfulfilled days of seyam Ramadhan on their behalf would be commendable.
• Pay the debts of one's beloveds if they did not leave a wayssiya (a will to stipulate that it be paid.) 

The above list is not by any means a comprehensive full list; it is meant as a starter for all good things one can do to truly honor one's beloveds. The wider the reach of the acts to other human beings the greater the reward shall be for the deceased. The acts are more meaningful and more far reaching the closer the relative is to the deceased. The surviving children, spouse, parents, and siblings are expected to shoulder this noble responsibility the most and from a position of deep and genuine love to their departed relative.

When a Muslim Declines Your House Invitation...

    A Muslim's life revolves around serving Allah (SWT) and obeying the edicts of the Prophet Mohammed (PBUH). Everything else, irrespective of its human importance or its gravity in people's eyes, is secondary.

    So, when you invite a Muslim to your house, especially to sleep over, anticipate that the invitation would be kindly or subtly declined. This by no means shows disrespect nor lack of love for you, the host. In fact, this may actually indicate that they cared enough about you to not wish to trouble you as shall be expounded upon below.

    Here are items that a Muslim's mind thinks about immediately as they ponder, "Should I go or should I stay?" in response to an invitation (I shall focus on a sleepover):

• Is there alcohol?
• Is there pork?
• Is there a dog?
• Is there a bidet or an equivalent tool that does its function?
• Is there a space that is useful as a salat (Muslim prayer) space?
• Are the sofa and the seating spaces najas* (impure)?
• Are all the eating and cooking vessels used for pork-containing meals, past as well as present?
• Is the sleeping space najas (impure)?
• How close is the sleeping space to the bathroom?
• Late night prayers and Qur'an Reading, are they going to interfere with my hosts' sleep patterns?
• Fajr (dawn prayer, which can be any time between 4:00 AM to 6:30 AM depending on the local) and Qur'an Reading, are they going to wake my hosts up?
• Is the living arrangement of the hosting family in conflict with well established Islamic norms and values (i.e. Halal or Haram)?
• How is the level of indecency in the hosts' or their guests' attires?
• The source of the wealth of the hosts, Halal or Haram?  

    A typical Muslim fully realizes that such matters are not going to be that easy for any host to adhere to and as such opts to decline rather than subject them to all or even a portion of the above. Is there a compromise that the host and guest may reach to facilitate the stay? The answer is most likely not because a true Muslim would not compromise when it comes to matters that put Allah (SWT) and His beloved Prophet (PBUH)'s precedence before anyone else including closest of family members.

Of course, the above does not mean that Muslims are aloof and unfriendly people. In fact, generosity is the staple of all Muslim societies. A true Muslim is more likely to invite everyone, including non-Muslims to their house. In addition, they would shower them with the kind of generosity and host qualities that they would never imagine. They would feed them, house them, and treat them not just as mere hosts but rather as family members during their whole stay. 

* najas refers to impurity in the Islamic sense. This includes any spaces that are trafficked by dogs, pigs, and humans whose bodily fluids touched such spaces. Bodily fluids include blood, saliva, semen, sweat, and urine.